What THEY Want vs What I Want For Them

Something hit me out of the blue the other day and I celebrated it as an unschooling epiphany (aka one of Oprah's "aha" moments). I was thinking about the kids and the different things they enjoy: fashion, music, design, video games just to name a few. I was trying to think of ways I could help them "enjoy" these things more. "You like fashion. You must want to be a designer. Want to learn to sew? What about drawing classes for sketching?" and "You love video games. You must want to be a game designer. Want to learn to code? Want to build your own computer?" And my children, deeply in touch with who they are responded with resounding...maybes. Hmmm...that's a let down. Or is it? Does everything they enjoy have to be fast-tracked into a career path? That's very traditional thinking. And my hope is that they never buy into traditional thinking unless it's what they choose. Can I let the kids have interests and hobbies without me projecting some type of skill-honing mindset onto everything? I have to. For all of us to reap the immense benefits of this lifestyle I have to let them BE. Not hands off, not uninvolved, not uninvested, not doing my own thing all the time. I have to support their interests without pushing an agenda. I think it's always ok to suggest and offer interesting things but I also have to accept rejection of those things with no let-down or emotional attachment. It's their life, not mine. They are free to spend their time as they please. Doing things for pure enjoyment is a skill that most adults I know I have lost. Or if they do things they enjoy they apologize for those activities or try to monetize them as justification. I hope to provide a space for my family to become adults who do things simply for the enjoyment of the activity.

Well, Here We Are! Re-Dedicating Myself (again) To This Blog!

Another year gone. Wow. We are all just trucking right along. Another year of unschooling. Attempting it as radically/whole life encompassing as we possible. Not as radical as some, way too radical for others. All good.

G-Lo is 12. She has developed a deep appreciation for Dr. Who and Once Upon a Time this Year. Netflix is amazing for immersing yourself in a show. We get our money's worth from our subscription. She spends a lot of time on Polyvore. She has taught herself design. People request that she make design projects for them. It is an amazing creative tool. It also has taught her time-management, customer service, and marketing. Critical skills for a young entrepreneur. Here is here work: Personal Page Her "Business" Projects G-Lo plays volleyball and soccer. She acts in local theater productions and is planning to take guitar lessons so she can write songs. 

S-Boy <still> loves video games. He is a master minecrafter. He has been playing other sandbox and role-playing games via Steam. Roller Coaster Tycoon, Papers Please and Surgery Simulator to name a few. He loves watching youtube videos called "Let's Plays" in which other gamers play a game and provide commentary. He also really enjoys "Top 10" list type videos. He has been inspired to start making his own videos in the same vein. S-Boy Youtuber! Other interests include Pokemon and Magic the Gathering which he plays with friends. He is also a big fan of dub-step music especially Skrillex and DeadMau5. He played baseball in the spring and that continues to be his favorite sport. He is playing flag football now and might take up boxing this fall. 

Baby Lady isn't so much of a baby anymore but since she's my last she'll never NOT be a baby to me! She is still the best unschooler I know. She just loves life. She is always up for anything! She likes to draw, play barbies and babies, go to the park, read, sing, dance...you name it! She recently learned to use the potty very quickly. She took her first gymnastics class and liked it. She is interested in a ballet class as well. She loves Peppa Pig and Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood. 

We spend time weekly with a group of free learners. Families with beliefs and values similar to ours. I know how difficult this lifestyle can be without others by your side so I am grateful for these families. We are undertaking a huge project together to create a community educational resource center. Life learning at it's best. 

Enough catching up. In my next post I am going to tackle what WE want for our kids vs what THEY want for themselves and what I've learned about that topic.

I Guess We Got Busy Doing Summer!

(Originally written August 2013)

Lazy summer days combined with kids who want to minecraft on our only laptop equals not much blogging. Add a nursing toddler in the mix and I think I'm excused! Time does give me the ability to look back and see where we started and where we are with a little perspective though.

I started this blog to document our unschooling journey. I guess I thought we would "get there." But the thing is unschooling wraps up your whole life. It changed my parenting and my thinking and continues to do so each day. We are not going to "get there" because the work is never done. We simply have to "be here" with all the successes, failures, regrouping and do-overs.

Six Month Blog Silence

It wasn't my intention to neglect this blog but a few LIFE things happened and with unschooling sometimes you have to just let things percolate for a while before you understand them fully (or not). So I am committing to write more because I love it.
The major LIFE thing - we moved to Kansas in January. Moving across three states is jarring and exciting. We have a strange semi-nomadic existence. We move every couple of years. Sometimes it's just houses and sometimes it's across state lines. Hopefully one day it is to an island. The positive attributes of this lifestyle are each one of us is more flexible and open to new situations and people. We put ourselves "out there" more and are not afraid to make connections with other people. The negative is that you must sometimes you have to leave great people behind which hurts. So the past six months have been spent mourning who and what we left as well as meeting new friends and learning our new surroundings.

The YES List

If we are all about the "yes" here (see blog title) then I should really keep a list of things that I say yes to that in another life would've a resounding "NO!"

G-Lo wants to put some color in her hair. Pink or teal or purple highlights. YES

G-Lo wants to use the Jesse Tree I bought last year for a Christmas tree for her Barbies. YES
S-Boy eats pizza for breakfast as often as possible. YES

These aren't big things but they let the kids have more control over their lives. Learning gentle parenting and living in concert with the kids is new and foreign to me. I am not the boss here. I try to give them respect and they give it back. We aren't adversaries. I pray for a spirit of cooperation in our home.

And the Little Toddler Shall Lead Us...

Baby Lady is the best unschooler I know. Think about it...in her short time here, without curriculum or intentional teaching, she has learned to sit up, walk, communicate in words and gestures, climb, dance, sing, scribble and hug. How did it happen? I didn't say "Baby Lady, it's time to learn to walk." She showed interest, we encouraged it, she practiced, we encouraged some more, then she had the skill. When she wanted to attempt it she did it. We didn't force her to do it a certain times. Toddlers and babies are great at internal motivation.

So I think God sent us Baby Lady at the right time (of course). We needed to meet an autodidact (a self-taught person) to trust unschooling. And it's not about everyone running amuck doing whatever they want at the expense of others' peace. Although Baby Lady does do that sometime. She's new. We give her grace. She just teaches us to follow your interests and passions and you will learn what you need to know in the right time. 

iPad Love

We finally got an iPad. It is wonderful. And as I imagined it rules for learning and exploring.

S-Boy loves the Google Earth app. He lives to think of locations or landmarks he knows and then have the app find them. The U.S. Capitol building, Cleveland Browns Stadium, and the wreck of the Titanic are just a few of his searches. The app "flies" from one place to another and swoops in very dramatically.

He is also playing "Smurfs Village." He plants vegetables and fruits and then harvests them for coins and points. He uses his coins and points to buy houses, more Smurfs, tools, etc. All in an effort to build a thriving village. The game has a reading component (directions, quests), math component (How many coins do I need for X? How many hours until my raspberries are ready?) and most importantly a fun component. G-Lo enjoys similar games like "Fashion Story" and "Bakery Story."

We play other fun games like "Ticket to Ride" and "Minecraft." I've been trying to restrain myself from buying a ton of new apps every day. It is hard!

I like blogging from the iPad. : )

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad