The YES List

If we are all about the "yes" here (see blog title) then I should really keep a list of things that I say yes to that in another life would've a resounding "NO!"

G-Lo wants to put some color in her hair. Pink or teal or purple highlights. YES

G-Lo wants to use the Jesse Tree I bought last year for a Christmas tree for her Barbies. YES
S-Boy eats pizza for breakfast as often as possible. YES

These aren't big things but they let the kids have more control over their lives. Learning gentle parenting and living in concert with the kids is new and foreign to me. I am not the boss here. I try to give them respect and they give it back. We aren't adversaries. I pray for a spirit of cooperation in our home.

And the Little Toddler Shall Lead Us...

Baby Lady is the best unschooler I know. Think about it...in her short time here, without curriculum or intentional teaching, she has learned to sit up, walk, communicate in words and gestures, climb, dance, sing, scribble and hug. How did it happen? I didn't say "Baby Lady, it's time to learn to walk." She showed interest, we encouraged it, she practiced, we encouraged some more, then she had the skill. When she wanted to attempt it she did it. We didn't force her to do it a certain times. Toddlers and babies are great at internal motivation.

So I think God sent us Baby Lady at the right time (of course). We needed to meet an autodidact (a self-taught person) to trust unschooling. And it's not about everyone running amuck doing whatever they want at the expense of others' peace. Although Baby Lady does do that sometime. She's new. We give her grace. She just teaches us to follow your interests and passions and you will learn what you need to know in the right time. 

iPad Love

We finally got an iPad. It is wonderful. And as I imagined it rules for learning and exploring.

S-Boy loves the Google Earth app. He lives to think of locations or landmarks he knows and then have the app find them. The U.S. Capitol building, Cleveland Browns Stadium, and the wreck of the Titanic are just a few of his searches. The app "flies" from one place to another and swoops in very dramatically.

He is also playing "Smurfs Village." He plants vegetables and fruits and then harvests them for coins and points. He uses his coins and points to buy houses, more Smurfs, tools, etc. All in an effort to build a thriving village. The game has a reading component (directions, quests), math component (How many coins do I need for X? How many hours until my raspberries are ready?) and most importantly a fun component. G-Lo enjoys similar games like "Fashion Story" and "Bakery Story."

We play other fun games like "Ticket to Ride" and "Minecraft." I've been trying to restrain myself from buying a ton of new apps every day. It is hard!

I like blogging from the iPad. : )

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Curriculum Purge

I packed up all our curriculum and textbooks at the beginning of the
summer. That was scary but freeing. I have two math-ish books that are
still around. Life of Fred and Murderous Maths.They are
story books and present real-world examples which hold more value. My
kids had started to despise math and see it as dreary and repetitive and
boring. I hope these books get us back to seeing that math is fun and
useful and interesting again. We don't use them everyday and we only read them as long as they interest us.

We read what we want. Books, magazines, comics, instructions, websites, blogs. I have stopped freaking at the library. They check out what they want and if they try it and don't like it they move on. My kids are encouraged to read the way I do. They read what interests them. We listen to audiobooks in the car. Right now we are finishing "The Sisters Grimm" series which is a modern take on The Brothers Grimm. We might not do all or any of "the classics." I have read a lot of these books and I can't remember most of them because they did not resonate with me. If they do with the kids great. But there are too many great books that aren't considered classics to get bogged down with what we "should" be reading.

We write what we want. G-Lo writes articles for the co-op newspaper. She also has a few novels in the works. She has a blog she updates sometimes. She told me her spelling has improved a lot since she started working on the computer ( love spellcheck). S-Boy likes drawing illustrations and writing descriptions and titles for them. If he asks how to spell something I tell him and don't say "How do you think it's spelled?" He wouldn't ask if he knew!

We talk about current events. We talk about historical events. They process and sometimes come back with insights we didn't consider. It is a conversation. The election has sparked so much discussion. I loved talking about the electoral college with them because they are so quick! "So sometimes the person with the most votes doesn't win?" I know adults who don't get that.

All this to say I am slowly learning that even without me pulling out books, handing out assignments and following a schedule they are learning. I am a guide, facilitator, partner, chauffeur. They are learning who they and what they want to know in their own time. The most important part of this to me is our relationship. I value that over any arbitrary subject I could insist they learn right this minute.

How?

We are still in the process of "de-schooling." (Aren't these words so fun?) It means that we are still in the process of removing the barriers in our minds between learning and life. When I say "we" I mean "me" because kids don't put those barriers up until they go to school. I have 16 years of de-schooling to accomplish. I have to learn that worksheets and volumes of paper do not equal true knowledge. I keep the following principles in mind as I go through the process: (1) Learning is not separated into subjects and (2) ALL activity has value.  We no longer have math time, and reading time, and science time. We do what needs to be done plus what we want during the day and take opportunities to learn as they present themselves. Number two is harder to swallow (for some initially). Television and video games are tools for learning. I am not talking about "educational" shows and games though we do some of those too. I am talking about honest to goodness popular, mainstream games, movies and TV shows. Initially, there was a binge which was to be expected. But now I am seeing that kids get bored with TV just like adults and move on to other things without prompting. Or I can offer something as an alternative and they usually bite. Some days they just want to veg out. I get that - I am the same way. So are you! Everyone has to learn to self-regulate. I offer guidance but ultimately they have to learn personal responsibility in all areas of life. I won't always be there directing their choices .

Why Unschooling?

Unschooling? It describes what we AREN'T doing but doesn't address what we are doing. I think it is better defined as "life learning." We are no longer creating a school environment in our home because it's an artificial construct created to serve the Industrial Revolution, and I'm not interested in creating more cogs for the machine. My goal is to create an environment where the children can become free-thinking, inspired, and compassionate.

G-Lo started public school in 2007 and we started homeschooling in 2010. Seems like longer. Through the years we have tried different methods, curriculum, plans, groups, and styles. But it got to the point where we weren't having any fun. Home schooling was as much drudgery as going to school. That was never my vision for home education. After researching I found that unschooling resonates with me. Which was disappointing because the version of unschooling in my head is not pretty! I'd never really met any unschoolers (or anyone who admitted they were unschoolers ). I envisioned dirty kids who couldn't read at 18 because they played video games and ate Cheetos 24/7. But reading more about real unschoolers showed me that my ideas are just as inaccurate as the idea that all homeschoolers are unsocialized, conservative Christian misfits. I dug deeper to see that unschooling ultimately lets kids keep their innate love of learning by letting them go and do and be in the way God made them.

It starts with a paradigm shift in the way I see the kids. Are they incapable of learning without explicit instruction? No. Children find everything interesting. That's why three year olds ask "why?" constantly. Curiosity and necessity collide in children if you don't impose your will (or society's standards) on what they must know when and in what order. And the knowledge gained is in my opinion more valuable and usable when it is initiated internally.

So I am on easy street, huh? No more planning or pushing or stressing. Well, unfortunately no. This is more complex because I have to offer opportunities and materials and conversations that may spark an interest. I have to facilitate ways to encourage their interests. And here's the biggest, hardest one of all (for me): I have to let them say no. They can say no to anything they want, and I have to be accept that choice. I trust that when the skill or subject or project is useful to them they will pursue it. Just like adults do. In real life.

Another Blog?

People will think I have a lot of free time. I have another blog that I used to record our home education path last year. I decided I need a new place because I am going in a completely different direction. This will be more about our life as we tiptoe (DIVE!)  into LIFE LEARNING. Also known as "unschooling" which is a strange and word that doesn't tell exactly what something is rather what it isn't which I find a little awkward.  I'll do a post on the "whys" and "hows" soon. As soon as I get them straight - this is a work in progress. For now I will say that my philosophy starts with the simple idea of saying "yes" as much as I possibly can. It is a paradigm shift because I have been a "no" parent forever. The "whys" of that are (again) another post but I will say that since I say "yes" most of the time we are a more peaceful and content family which is something the culture of "no" never gave us.